3:30 p.m.
All knobs on the gas stove turned off-check.
Doors and
windows secured-check.
Heat turned down – check.
I make my final rounds around
our home while Jason and Stephen load up the two vans parked outside. Empty of
boys and with the toys all put away our home feels uniquely quiet. I pause for
a moment – as if to memorize the feel of home one last time before pushing ‘Away’
on the alarm panel. It’s time to go!
Heading down the front steps, I make my way
outside to one of the two vans parked in our driveway. Both vans are fully
loaded with luggage and the seats are filled with excited team members that
will be traveling with us to Haiti. This is it! We are on our way!
5:30 p.m.
Rain splatters on the windshield, momentarily blurring my vision
until the wipers clear it again with a quick swish, swish. We’re nearing Seattle and there is lots to
see: looming high rises, flashing signs, and intricate bridges and road ways. It
won’t be long now before we arrive at the SeaTac airport.
9:54 p.m.
Crackle, crackle, I hear the sound of someone opening up a bag
of chips and look up from my notebook. Voices swirl around me engaging in
conversations I can’t quite follow. As I absorb my surroundings, I try to
depict the different languages I hear. Every now and then the ground beneath me
vibrates bringing back earthquake memories. I don’t allow the fear in. Instead I
focus on the truth “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of
love and of a sound mind.”(2 Timothy 1:7)
Turning back to my notebook I muse how strange it feels to just
be able to sit here and write and not be holding a baby or chasing a toddler or
trying to keep a preschooler entertained. I love traveling and have done
plenty of it in the last 10 years, but all but one time without our boys. Although
it is much simpler without strollers and diaper bags, and chasing toddlers
through scanners, I do miss them!
10:26 P.m.
I feel my body being pushed back into the seat as the jet
takes off into the dark night sky. I love flying and airplanes but they do make
me feel small and vulnerable. Flying through the sky in a metal contraption,
defying the laws of gravity, still seems a little unreal to me, no matter how
many times I do it. Knowing that I can’t add a moment to my life and my times
are in God’s hands fills me with peace.
It’s
been a long journey letting go and letting God direct my life as I've struggled long against my need to be in control. Trust: it’s a
small word – but a big one too. Trust means saying no matter what happens “As
for God, His way is perfect:” Psalm 18:30. It means trusting God and living “Not my will, but Thine be
done.”
With these thoughts swirling through my mind, I pull out my small
travel pillow out of my backpack and do my best to get comfortable. Although our
flight is only 5 hours long, due to the 3 hour time change it will be 6:49 a.m.
in New York when we land. This means that the only sleep we will get for the
night is the little shut eye we can catch on the plane. Sleeping is easier said
than done, however, as I alternate between sitting straight up and slumping
forward onto the tray table.
No comments:
Post a Comment