November 25 (two and a half weeks ago)
The stark glare of the overhead fluorescent lighting fills the empty room as I lay on the ER bed. Looking around all I see is white, bare walls.
My head is pounding and I’m burning up with fever while my body aches and bleeds.
Is this it? I wonder as a lone tear escapes and trickles down my cheek.
Like the room, I feel bare and empty inside too. I can’t feel His presence. I can’t even recall a single Bible verse I’ve memorized.
What if I die and that’s it? I wonder. What if there is no life after death?
Between my doubt and confusion and tears I suddenly hear the words of Peter. “To whom else shall we go? Thou only has the words of eternal life.” It’s not a verse I’ve ever memorized but it repeats itself over and over again in my heart.
As I ponder and cling to those words another verse that I’ve never memorized fills my heart. “I have prayed for you that your faith fails not.”
Weren’t those the words Jesus said to Peter? Hope flickers and burns.
Closing my eyes I remember the previously memorized words of Hebrews 12:2 “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;”
My fearful, doubting heart fills with hope and peace. Whatever happens next Jesus IS the author and finisher of my faith and I can rest assured in that knowledge.
2 comments:
Ah yes, praise the LORD for HIS faithfulness! Wonderful gospel news!
Love Jenny
Thank you for sharing these thoughts, Wil. Once again, we witness along with you, that God never, never, never forsakes us! Hebrews 13:5 His Holy Spirit is indeed our ENCOURAGER! How are you physically feeling now? Is your strength returning a bit? You were so sick...continuing to pray for all of you. Is Jason flying everyday? And Jayden back in school?
With our love,
Marty and Roelie
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